Recently I registered for my first class of grad school at the Haggard School of Theology called Dynamics of Christian Formation. It is a Christian Ministries class and it should be good, it's been a long time since I have taken a ministry class. Along with registering for classes, I have been preparing to start as the Youth Pastor at First Congregational Church of Ramona. I have been getting all my books into my new office and am very excited about actually having a desk, maybe I'll be able to stay organized. Needless to say, I am entering into a new season of life and that reality grows more apparent as the days go on.
When you move from one season of life to another, in that space between, you enter into a place where for the first time you are no longer locked into any particular place. Your identity is more ambiguous than ever before and all the things you want to do with your life are ever close but so far away. It's like you're waking in a hallway with many doors, each one leading toward something you want to do. One door might say "academics" another might say "ministry" and yet another might say something about family or housing. In this hallway it is truly difficult to keep focus and say yes to the season in which you are entering, the door to which you have already been called to open. You may want to open several doors at once or keep a foot in two doors at the same time. An unnecessary anxiety comes over you as each door seems closer than ever before. You have to let go at some point of all the other doors, if only for a season, and put your whole self into the one door to which you truly desire to enter. You must drop all that is in your hands, keeping you from "willing the one thing", and be patient and wise enough to take hold of that to which you have been called.
I have been praying for wisdom and patience so that I may give my whole self to that which I most desire and that which is most important.
(One thing that has been helpful is Rob Bells new Nooma: Shells.)