Thursday, February 23, 2012

I just can't fit you into my schedule...

Patient and faithful God, I am so sorry but I'm just too busy for you today.  You see, I've been slaving away at serving you, working so hard to make sure others learn how important you are in their lives, I've been doing so much for your kingdom that there's just no time. Thank you for making time for me, but I just can't fit you into my schedule. How about sometime next week? I'll be in touch.

Forgive me God! Forgive me for such ludicrous and superficial audacity as to put anything else before you. How have I allowed my relationship with you to be so peripheral that I can imagine living as though I do not need you. The truth is, I do need you and I am dependent on you, even when I do not acknowledge it and even when I am not aware of it. If I had any concept of how you love me, I would shudder. You are always eager to listen, always ready to comfort, and always available to your people, even to those who are utterly against you.

So here am I, Lord. May I offer my very soul to you--the depth of my being in all its various forms. I offer my chaos. I offer my confusion. I offer even my apathy. Dare I even offer my hatred for you? I am your enemy, oh God, should I be so presumptuous as to beg you for mercy, not to mention love? Yet in my ugliness you see beauty. When I am your enemy, you call me friend and you lay down your life for me. You invite me to your home to enjoy the comfort of your company and you ask me not to fear. May I relinquish my fear and allow you to dwell with me. May I embrace the joy and freedom of your forgiveness and may I forget my alienation as you do. Let me see what you see. Let me see that I am not marked by the messes I've created nor the struggles I instigate. I am a new creation. I am a saint. I am yours and you love me. Amen. 


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