The Slippery Slope of Gay Marriage (a Satire)

We all know that homosexuality is a slippery slope to beasteogomy (marriage between people and animals), polygamy, pedophilia, and eventually the extinction of the human race. If gay people can get married we'd might as well just kiss ourselves goodbye. But has anyone bothered to ask the real question at hand? Where did this slippery slope begin? How did we get to this point in history? Well, it all started when we allowed straight people to get married. Yes! marriage between men and women was the start of this fiasco. The only solution is to ban marriage altogether. The gays won't have anything to be jealous of anymore and our children's future will be secure.